My Love Language...

I'm alive. I've been busy. Isn't that our life story? Sometimes, I can't even remember what we've done that keeps us so busy. Oh well.

I do have one thing that I can share with you that has kept me busy. I have been reading lately. (I really do enjoy it!)

I've heard this book title whispered around a little bit, and then I heard it used directly around Valentine's Day. 

The book is called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. 

Have you heard of it? You might have.

Now, before you go thinking this is just a book for someone in a relationship like marriage, you're wrong. This book, has several different spin offs, but will basically apply to EVERY relationship you have. Friendships, co-workers, moms/dads, siblings, and children. Basically, if you have a relationship with ANYONE, you can use this!

What really sparked me into reading the book, was a men's discussion panel for Valentine's Day. Several women/mom's asked a panel of men what they would really value or treasure as a gift. While, each one had their own answer, one man's in particular was very interesting to me. He said, "You need to know your husband's love language. Mine for instance is spending quality time, which means sitting on the couch watching TV, not saying anything."

This, sounds like my husband. Then I got to thinking, is it really that EASY? Maybe this would be the one step that could really help take our relationship, and all my relationships, to the next level.

Let me just tell you, it's a small book. But, it packs quite the punch. There are Five Love Languages. 

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

Essentially, we all fall into one of these categories. 

I've always seen these pictures or posts or comments about how sexy women find men that vacuum the house and do laundry or wash dishes are. I never understood that. The reason I don't get that, is because that isn't my love language. That would be considered Acts of Service. While I think that stuff is great, I also think it's part of just being a couple.

After taking the quiz, I found out that I scored really high in Words of Affirmation and Gifts. Which, is really, two of the things I probably request and ask more than anything.

It made me also realize that the Gifts one is huge to me. I spend a lot of time thinking about giving people gifts, looking for gifts, finding surprise gifts, and what would make a just for fun gift, for anyone. Could I say the word gift anymore?

But, I also realize I scrutinize gifts that I/my children, get just as much! For me, gifts speak a lot of love. When I open a gift, I realize at that moment, how much that person really thought about me. How much that person really showed they loved me. Now, that's NOT to be confused with being expensive or having to have a lot of money spent on me. 

Just knowing that someone took the time to get to know me, my personality, my likes, life, and then created/found a gift that fits me, is just incredible! 

This fills my love tank.

My husband, was a little bit of a surprise. The book talks about how the things one often complains or nags about, tend to show you what their love language is. Even how someone tends to just act towards you. We tend to mirror the love language we are expecting.

I thought about my husband a lot, and before he took the quiz I had pretty much figured out what his love language was. Or thought I had them both figured out. I was almost 100% correct.

His major love language is Acts of Service. Having dinner ready for him, washing his clothes, running errands, washing his truck, cleaning the house-these all showed him love. Made him feel secure. He always does this stuff for me, so I could tell this was going to be one of his big ones.

He will make me breakfast, he will clean my car, he will change the oil and rotate the tires, and he will even clean the house.

His second one, was actually a surprise. He likes gifts and quality time. The quality time one, wasn't the surprise. He tends to be the kind of man that just wants me to hang out in the garage with him while he works on his dirt bike, or shows me his new welds. He always likes to show me stuff he's doing and complains that I'm online too much when we are watching TV together. Yep, quality time is one that didn't come as a surprise to me.

Gifts and my husband. Two things I NEVER thought would go together. He's never really one for giving me gifts, but also, when I give him gifts (even the ones he will specifically ASK me to get for him) he just never seems to be to excited about it. I guess that just goes to show you, there are always new things to learn about the loved ones in our life!

We've been applying these things to our life on a daily basis now. I have to say, it takes a lot of the guessing out of what will work and what doesn't. It's actually been quite a relief! I now know, what I can do to show him, I love him. He's been doing mine as well. It's been so amazing!

We finally speak, the SAME LANGUAGE!!!!

After we took our quizzes, I actually have asked several friends and family members to do the same. 

My mom, turns out, is an Acts of Service person. My sister is just like me. There is no better way to show people you love them by speaking their language.


If you don't want to buy the book, and I do encourage it, then go to this link and take your profile quiz! Find out what your language is! You might be surprised.

The 5 Love Languages Profile Quiz


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"You obeyed the truth and your souls were made pure. Now you sincerely love each other. But you must keep on loving with all your heart."
1 Peter 1:22 (CEV)

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